It is a crazy season of life here, nothing new with that. But I am in a place that is causing a lot of growth and pain, and excitement. My husband and I are looking forward to growth in our marriage and careers. We are learning a deeper level of communicating when we both have needs and still don’t understand how the other processes. I have new friends and old friends that have become acquaintances instead of kindred spirits. I have friendships I do not know what they will look like in a few months from now.
Things are shifting, I am letting things go, people go, and learning what to share of myself and where or who to share it with. I am an open person and have been known for embracing my vulnerable side. I have always been highly sensitive and felt that no one should be made to feel badly for being so. In college I was a resident assistant and my resident director gave me one of my greatest compliments. She told me how being true to myself and sharing myself was inspiring, she said my vulnerability was my greatest strength. So against several odds someone saw the light I knew was in me even though I had tried to squash it at one time. I still feel berated for my sensitive spirit and draw towards feeling deeply, but I now know I can be and am who I am no matter what others think. I don’t need to bend to other people and what makes them feel safe. I can simply respect where they are, cherish what they are to me and withdraw or have boundaries to what place they get in my life. I am happy when others figure out their own boundaries and share with me their needs. I am happy to respect those boundaries, but how I have grown is realizing I can request the same boundary from them. If someone is not able or willing to be there for you in a certain way, you need to respect it, but also state you need the same boundary. It is not healthy or helpful to invest in others who cannot invest in you or in certain areas. Relationships are hard and have a lot of growing pains. There are always exceptions to things. At the same time I had someone draw a boundary with me and I required it back of them, I also had another relationship where I knocked down all boundaries and created new ones, to better meet both of our needs.
The ultimate growth in vulnerability in my current state is being flexible, adaptable, and approachable to my needs and open to conversation in my close relationships about each persons needs and wants. Life knocks us on our ass and it also catapults us right into glory some days. We transform everyday and what we needed or wanted a year, month, week, or day ago may not work for today. I am in a new place of understanding boundaries and entering a new level of vulnerability. The deepest gift I can receive is that whatever choices I make, I own them, and no matter what my marriage, friendships, or co workers say and do, my relationship with myself is the most important. everything must bring me back to myself, and I am the one responsible for staying with myself through all things.
So in celebration of new vulnerability I am sharing myself more publicly with the people and the world on this blog and putting my writing out there for others in bigger platforms. I would love your support in reading my first article with The Ladies Coach. I have followed The Ladies Coach for some time and it was an honor to have them share my article Four Sentences That Saved My Life.
Sending you all love! Thank you! Comments or questions always welcome!